Healing

“Caleigh girl, I’m going to ask you to grow up really fast right now.” That was the sentence I heard a year ago when we found out our pregnancy was no longer perfect. One of the many sentences I will never forget. One that hit hard, but one that I needed to hear in order to prepare. This pregnancy with baby brother has been joyful, but it has also just been plain hard. My journey did not end July 1st. In a way, it had only really began. In the last 5 months, I’ve had more time to process all that has happened and realized that it’s okay to give myself the grace needed to grieve and celebrate at the same time. I want to share part of the miracle that this baby brother is.

These babies are not our own, but Gods. He entrusts us with them as a gift. “Every good and perfect gift is from above” is one of the truest verses we have witnessed first hand. Babies are nothing but pure, perfect, holy, and a true gift sent straight from heaven.

When I was in the hospital I had so many thoughts racing constantly, but I remember constantly thinking I love being a momma more than anything. And Jesus, if Liam has to be completely yours now, please send us a baby soon. No baby could replace Liam, but they could bring their own love and joy to our hearts in their individual way.

By the grace of God, it only took 4 months. And by grace, I also mean miracle. For those that don’t know, I have stage 3 endometriosis . The year prior to Liam I had 2 surgeries to remove my endo. We prayed hard that I didn’t have to have surgery to get pregnant again. Our hearts have waited so long to bring a baby home…. I didn’t think I could handle one more challenge on top of our heartache. My pregnancy with Liam healed me. Healing in so many ways….One I was not expecting was physically. Our doctor had said that patients with endometriosis can sometimes be healed through pregnancies. My pregnancy with Liam is what healed me quickly enough to get pregnant with baby brother….if that doesn’t show you how miraculous Jesus is, I don’t know what will. I would have surgery once a month if that meant Liam could still be with us, but I see God’s hand in every bit of my story. Looking for glimmers of hope and joy in the understanding of this heartache. My sweet boy has given me far more than I deserve. I can’t fight the stream of tears as I write out this part of my story. Thinking how my tiny innocent precious firstborn gave me everything and more. I wish I could personally give everything back, but like I’ve said before, Jesus is giving him everything for me. I wouldn’t trade the lessons and growth for anything, but I long for Liam more every day. I pray that through our family you can see God’s handiwork in the good times and the bad. And that he really can bring restoration to the most broken of hearts. I am still learning and healing, but I am so thankful for this next chapter. For the first time in months, I feel pure joy. I still can’t believe my  Liam’s a big brother to a baby BOY. We now have 2 baby boys and they are my pride and joy. They are everything. The best part of Keith and I. We can’t wait to continue to grow and learn more about our King through another pregnancy.  Please pray for us and this sweet baby. It has been humbling, trying, and joyous submitting another pregnancy over to the lord. 2024 is a year of restoration!

Isaiah 43:19

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

1 Peter 5:10

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.