Birth Story - Part 2
Although we had driven to the hospital numerous times over the past 8 months, this drive seemed so different. I felt every emotion humanly possible. I was heartbroken, yet filled with so much joy that I was about to get to meet my baby boy.
We checked in earlier than planned because of my water breaking. I had the 2 people that were my rock this entire pregnancy - my wonderful husband and my mama. The lady at the front desk was not a good way to begin…you don’t mess with a woman in labor, a protective husband, and a mama bear. It took everything in us to be the bigger person as she was nothing but rude, but because of Liam, we would be. What felt like the longest 30 minutes of my life finally passed, and we were settling into the delivery room. My heart rate was at 140, and it all got so real for me. This room would be the place that my heart would fall in love but also break. I sat in that hospital bed and just looked at the machines and became very quiet. My whole life I had heard that all the labor pains were worth it. That the joy always surpassed the pain. For me, I couldn’t have that mentality….I would have to find my strength elsewhere. It’s happening baby boy. You and me. Jesus, give me strength.
Around 10pm, Dr. Mac came in. I felt instant peace. He had loved and cared for me and my little family more than I can say in words. For 8 months, he cared for us medically and emotionally. We had made it to the finish line for this pregnancy. There was an unspoken moment of “we’re here, we made it, and it is time to meet Liam.” He talked through what delivery could look like, what all could happen to me and Liam, and the different outcomes. We had talked about the endless possibilities in the last couple of months, but it was time to discuss details. He said - “this could be a long road.” With him as my doctor and knowing Jesus had shown up, this didn’t scare me. We also knew that because my water broke naturally, labor should go smoother. He gave me my first round of induction medicine. 30 minutes later and I was on the bathroom floor in so much pain. Also, the amount of water….(tmi) but, no one tells you about that. My nurse strongly encouraged me to get some sleep because the next day could be long. I was up all night. My water continued to break, and I didn’t want to forget a second of my labor with Liam. This was the last night with him in my belly, and I wanted to remember it all, even through the intense labor pains. We had spent every second together for 8 months, and I wasn’t about to miss this.
I truly had the dream team with me. Each and every nurse cared for me and my Liam SO well. I am forever grateful. They made all the difference in this experience for me. It was not only my first time giving birth, but I was going through the unimaginable. They loved and served so well.
1am - I was given the 2nd round of induction medicine. I was told to prepare because the labor pain would escalate real hard and real quick. I had held off on the epidural and just received pain medicine through the IV. At this point, I was encouraged to get the epidural in case the placenta was stubborn, or in case I had to have a c-section.
2:30am - I was feeling relaxed for the first time since getting to the hospital. The epidural was a game changer.
At 2:45am, I was 4.5cm dilated, and by 5:30am, I was 6cm dilated. Dr Mac was so encouraged with how well my labor had progressed. He explained how these signs were all from my baby boy…my water breaking, the mild contractions all week leading up, dilating quickly after just 2 rounds of medicine. Liam was giving us so many signs.
There were so many prayers that we had prayed and asked for over the course of my pregnancy. As I was laboring, I just wanted to remember the feeling of gratitude. My heart was breaking, but Jesus was continuing to answer so many specific prayers. From the moment we began, there was nothing but peace, holiness, pureness. Jesus was working out every detail. I was worried that labor would be chaotic and that we wouldn’t get to do or soak up certain moments before pushing. At 7am, our wonderful pastor came and prayed over Keith, Liam, and I before meeting our Liam face to face. This was a huge answered prayer that he made it right before Liam entered this world. We hugged and told our families goodbye. There were so many tears. We all just hugged so tightly. I’ll never forget the moment when the doctor said “it’s time.” We didn’t know what to expect, but we were ready for a miracle to take place. Keith was the best partner during birth. He loved me every second and held my hand so strongly. When I would get afraid or start to worry, I would look at him, and he would say we got this. Liam has the most special daddy in the world that cares for us both so well..
Dr. Mac asked if I wanted to hear Liam’s heartbeat in my tummy one last time. As tears fall typing that, that is and will always be my favorite sound. A sound of joy. The sound I was lucky enough to hear for 8 months when we didn’t know how much longer we would be able to. After hearing that, I was ready to push. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Everyone could feel Jesus. Those moments were the closest I have ever felt to heaven. I wanted time to pause so that I could stay in that sacred moment forever. To me, it just felt like my little family of 3 in that room with Jesus. I remember looking to my right at one point and thinking “woah, there’s 10 people watching this.” The NICU team was on the sidelines ready to help if needed, and we had the best team of nurses. They were going to see how special my Liam was. Dr. Mac said that Liam was crowning and that he could see a head full of hair. This was my motivation to continue to push through to see my baby. There was no chaos, just stillness.
You made your arrival at 7:44am as ‘come thou fount’ was playing in the background. My favorite classic worship song that played at mommy and daddy’s wedding. Not only was my Liam here, he was ALIVE. My baby boy…. you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I didn’t see a defect or any sickness, I just saw my beautiful, perfect, pure baby boy. I got to see my baby move his mouth and wiggle his 10 tiny perfect fingers and toes. There are no words to explain the pure joy from seeing a prayer like this answered. The greatest one that we had prayed for every day for 8 long months. We knew it would be rare if there was a heartbeat outside of the womb, but Jesus gave us that gift. My baby was going to have a birth certificate. To many, you may not understand the significance of this, but to my mama heart, it was everything. He was alive and his life matters. My perfect Liam made heaven and earth collide, and a miracle was performed in that delivery room.
To be continued…..