liam strong
If I’m being honest, it feels like each day gets harder now. My heart feels heavier and my mind can no longer control my thoughts from going wild. The more time I’ve had to process, the more real it gets. I find myself constantly saying “wow, this really IS happening, and it’s happening to ME.” Liam has now been with us for over 100 days and each day I fall more in love with him. I dream about him all day every day. Is he is daddy’s mini me? Will he love sports and hunting too? What features of mine will he have? What will his first word be?
Questions a mom should find out, but sadly I can’t hope for that. Only God knows every detail and that is a hard thing to accept. It makes me sad and angry most days.
“God, please let this be a modern day miracle. People would still come to know you!! Liam is still yours. We’ll tell him every day about you and how he is a living breathing miracle because of you!!!”
However, my heart knows to prepare itself in other ways. I know deep down Liam’s miracle is that he will be healed and whole and dancing with Jesus for all his life. Selfishly, I just don’t want that to be true. It doesn’t make sense. It’s never something I thought I would have to accept about my baby in this life. I have always been familiar with this verse, but more than ever, it brings comfort and peace.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
God wrote Liam’s story a long time ago. Before he even blessed us with him. He knows him better than we do. He knows every single detail about Liam. He knows the answers to all my questions. He will know exactly how to care for him because he made him. Medically, he is so sick. But to me he is absolutely perfect and wonderful because he was designed by the greatest author we know.
#prayforliam #liamstrong
